Getting through the second week of treatment was more difficult than I expected. Nausea every day, light headedness, accumulated exhaustion. The second round of injected chemotherapy was much more aggressive than the first; “another 90 minutes,” said the doctor on the second Monday.
The radiation and oral chemotherapy are still every weekday. This week, even on Saturday to recover the session we missed one Monday that the radiation equipment wasn’t working.
The intensity of the reaction was to be expected, the doctors had warned me. The discomfort, a natural consequence of the chemicals they inject during the chemotherapy. The frustration, irritation and anger at feeling bad every day, probably normal, but that didn’t keep it from being intolerable at times.
Many people have said: “you’ve reacted very well,” “you haven’t thrown up, that’s something,” “you’re doing well.” It doesn’t always feel that way. It’s not always easy to keep my head up and smile, answering that everything is fine and we’re holding up like champions.
In those moments of sadness, frustration, defeat… I realize something very important: my mind, my body, my immune system; they are so much stronger than I thought. My body continues to fight, continues to endure, it continues to hold up, it can take much more than we sometimes want or allow ourselves to recognize.
I hold tight to my work outs, my work, I continue to live as though this experience is only one more process; another cold that I need to recover from. I fix my mind on jumping out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off at 6:30 am, I get dressed for my workout, grab my bag and get in the car to drive 8 minutes to the gym. I do my workout session: 50 minutes of high intensity, my heart rate reaches 160 beats per minute, my energy level approximates 95%. After my workout I bathe, I get dressed for the office. At 8:30 I’m in the car. I stop at the corner of my house where my wife is waiting with a berry smoothie (currently it’s the only thing I can handle for breakfast). Only then do I remember, I have cancer, maybe I shouldn’t be doing such intense exercise, maybe I should let myself sleep in every day.
Inmunocal
“Immunocal is a patented supplement similar to breast milk. It contains more than 90% pure protein and has a biological value higher than any other protein supplement or food available on the market. The term “biological value” (BV) is a scale of important edible proteins found in the body. Daily consumption of Immunocal will help you augment the concentration of glutathione (abbreviated as GSH), a molecule referred to as the most important protector of the body.” [1] Most people I’ve spoken with have no idea what Immunocal is, or even that it exists, and until a few weeks ago I was one of these people. As soon as I received the diagnosis, my mom “informed” me that I would be taking two packets each morning. When I asked why and for what the response was simple: “the chemotherapy is going to destroy your immune system, your white blood cells will get really low, and you need them to be active to hold up under the treatment.” I don’t know if it really works or if it’s helping, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. It’s in circumstances like these that we are willing to take and try everything within our reach if it can help us get ahead. I can’t suggest that you take it, but I’d say if something might help, give it a try, there’s nothing to lose.
B – 63
B- 63® is an integrated high intensity exercise program. It’s based on a system of daily sessions from Monday through Friday with a duration of 50 to 55 minutes, during which your body reaches its maximum limits in order to achieve better and faster results. If you’ve heard of Crossfit or 54-D, it’s similar. For me it’s a big motivator, and it has been a refuge where I can work my mind and body in order to reach limits that I thought were unattainable. In general, exercise has always been in my life, but not consistently or with the passion that I see in other people. When I discovered B-63, I just couldn’t stop. The commitment is with myself. “You’ll never be the same” is the motto of the program; it couldn’t be more true.
I suppose that what I want to say is find that passion, the exercise, the walk, the pool, that “something” that motivates you to stay active and disconnect a little from what we are living. The mind is the most important member of the team in our battle. It is our thoughts, the challenges that the mind creates, that allow us to keep moving and walking towards our goal.
In general every day is more difficult and exhausting, but my body holds up under the treatment, the love of my wife and family remain strong, the signs of their care always present. The battle is individual – we have to overcome it – but the war is shared with those who walk with us every day, step by step. One day at a time, one daily battle, an objective achieved that brings us closer to the goal we wish for: to be cured. We are going to get there, we only need to have patience, strength, faith and hope.
All of this brings me to the conclusion that maybe even with cancer we can fight, we can turn and face our challenges, and most importantly, we can WIN. In a competition I had last Saturday I gave my all, I overcame myself, I fought against the exhaustion of the chemotherapy and radiation – and I won second place in the intermediate category out of 25 competitors in my group. YES IT’S POSSIBLE! This eternal saying that we repeat each time the Mexican soccer team plays, is really the motto of human existence, where we can overcome the barriers and limits that we once believed to be insurmountable.
After two weeks, and 4 kilos lighter, the goal continues to be the same, and each day we are closer to achieving it. It doesn’t matter how tired you feel. If you’re so exhausted that you don’t want to get out of bed, if the sadness takes over, remember the routine of 30 minutes. Afterwards, keep going because life doesn’t stop and we have to keep living it.
Because yes, even with cancer you can compete and win, you can enjoy a delicious dinner with your partner in crime, you can reach goals and set new ones. Because YES, IT’S POSSIBLE!
Cry, scream all you want, but remember to also smile. We’re alive and we want to continue living. Laughter is the best medicine.
Mario
February 13, 2017